Probably, each of us had to face a dilemma in life: on whose side to stand in a dispute or conflict – on his side or on the side of the right (after all, it does not always turn out to be right).
For example, your son in the yard beat a neighbor’s boy. His father came out and kicked your son’s ears. It seems that your son is yours; you have to stand up for him. Nevertheless, on the other hand, he is wrong.
Alternatively, for example, you walk in the yard in the evening, and there your friends carp at a foreigner. It seems to be a pity for a foreigner. We must intercede. After all, your friends are there.
In adition, here is another example. The Kazakh participates in the preparation of the terrorist attack in the United States. He is caught and judged. It would seem, yes, it is bad to help terrorists. But these Americans are judging our native Kazakh.
Whose side to take in all these cases?
The question is not easy.
Personally, I for myself worked out a long position, until it was sharpened in a very short and simple formula: “Defend the weak, support the right.”
What does this formula mean?
In any conflict, if it is within my power, I do not allow violence to occur. It does not matter who beats whom: our foreigner or foreigner, a foreign boy of my son or, conversely. The fight must be stopped. Violence among civilized people is not the place.
The second thing to do is to sort out the dispute and decide for yourself who is right and who is wrong. And after that take the side of the right, regardless of whether it is yours or someone else’s.
Because of this rule, frankly, in my life, it was possible to lose the disposition of friends and colleagues.
I remember one friend was offended at me for not helping him in a fight with a stranger. I separated them and began to find out who was right. “Does it matter who is right? – Then he offended me, – I am your friend. Why did not you first beat him, and then did not find out who was right? ”
Clear business. Everyone wants to believe that, whatever you do, your people will always be on your side and support you.
But I cannot. This contradicts my life principles.
I believe that the truth is above all, including friendship, solidarity and patriotism. It is not necessarily always right. In addition, you have to be able to prove it and stand on your own. After all, only the rule of truth can deter any of us from impunity and permissiveness.
P.S. I have one more rule that is inextricably linked with the above formula. It reads: “Do not let your people to be in offense by strangers “.
What does it mean?
This means that if in the conflict your person was guilty, then his people must punish him. You cannot give it away to the outsiders.
I remember, in my childhood, when there were fashionable boy inter-war disassembly, our company had a very authoritative and fair leader. Once, according to the cry “Ours are beaten!”, We rushed all crowd to the neighboring yard. There, the competing company caught our kid and was going to arrange for him to be executed. Our commander did not immediately get into a fight. He only stopped them and asked them to tell what was wrong. It turned out that our friend was caught stealing another’s bicycle. Our leader thought for a while, and then he said, “Yes, stealing bicycles is bad. He is wrong, but I am responsible for him. Here is your money. Buy yourself a treat and forget about this misunderstanding”. Since the boy was authoritative, the neighbors agreed with him and let our friend go. We led the failed thief into his yard and pushed the cuffs so that he never thought about stealing again.
So then I always acted.
These two simple rules help me navigate in difficult controversial situations and correctly answer the question: what is more important – own person or being right, and what if your person is wrong.